The face of a cat and bones beneath it, arranged like a pirate skull and cross bones symbol

Fat Cat Pirate Chat

The Buccaneers Riposte

a product of Point-and-Read, Inc.

There be pirates of all ages, and all enjoy talkin' like a pirate. But some pirate talk might not be quite right fer the little ones. So ... Fat Cat Pirate Chat has some some parental controls (for pirates who be parents).

All kids (and adults) are interested in "bad" words. From "piss" to worse. It's how kids learn about the gross stuff -- and about boundaries and the responsible use of language.

This version of Pirate Chat includes several phrases that might be unsettling to some children or considered inappropriate by some parents. So there is an option in the general "Settings" utility to use the "cleanest" phrases by picking the 4+ Age setting.

Here are the controllable phrases and their alternatives:

4+ Phrase


9+ Phrase


Blest as a fistful o' doubloons. More bliss than crackin' Jenny's teacup.
Hurl yer lunch. Crimp yer sister.
By the Pirate's Code. Piss on th' parrot.
Choked by me own hardtack! Garrote me mum.
Waltzin' mermaids. Bugs in yer bunghole.
Hang me on a Sunday! Keelhaul me danglers.
Me pretty lass. Me buxom wench.
Me naughty Nancy. Me saucy strumpet.
Keepin' yer cutlass sharp and ready? Yeer cutlass be needin' a new scabbard?
Got a handful o' doubloons ur a fistful o' trouble? That pirate booty be a reale fistful.
Any rumor o' treasure ur plate? I ne'er seen a treasure chest so fit to bust.
Be yer treasure chest ever full. A bloody sodden cutlass in a tight scabbard.
End it now, ur taste th' rope's end. Stop playin' with it matey, ur I'll cut it off.
Quitcher caterwaulin', ur ye kiss th' cat. Stop yer yappers, ur I'll slit yer throat.

Remember, though, that learning to talk responsibly requires giving people the opportunity to speak at least somewhat improperly.

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